July 8, 2010

Urgent need to wed

“We are sending you a letter of intent. If you wish, you can make some small changes on it. After you sign the letter of intent, a team from our company will visit your company to check you out. We hope to  start our partnership within 2 months”.

Some of the business owners, coming to my office for the first time and sometimes even in our first telephone conversation, tell me about the urgency (!) of their situation by using such sentences. A company, which is respected and well-known by him, has decided to be a partner in their company, and this potential partner wishes to finalize the share purchase process as quickly as possible. This groom, admired from afar for many years, has now come calling and wants to wed immediately. :-)

When examined in some detail, it is seen that the letter of intent lacks a lot of good intent. Usually, it is one-sided. Almost always a clause of this agreement says in plain words, “You cannot even look at somebody else”.  The prospective groom is afraid that somebody else may come along and steal the brides’s heart. Of course, if someone else is also interested in the bride, then the cost of the marriage settlement will increase.

On the other hand, I would like to emphasize that a decent share purchase process cannot be finalized within only 2 months. However, I know that the groom will start to relax after imposing the curfew on the bride and the bride, thinking all along about the wedding, will get used to the house arrest.

A wise bride would make known to the groom that there are other parties interested in a marriage and would discuss with the groom the details of their future together before deciding on the wedding.

A wise groom would show respect to his prospective bride and would prepare the letter of intent together with his bride.

It is one of my jobs to cool down a groom who shows the urgent need to wed and to explain that he cannot bend the bride to his will unquestionably. I cannot say that all grooms always understand me quickly. However, once I start to talk about other prospective grooms interested in the bride, then he suddenly gains a clarity of mind. :-)

PS: If you wish to do so, you can interchange the words ‘groom’ and ‘bride’.

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